Embracing the Light

Erin Madore

Blog Posts, Erin Madore


I used to believe that I was truly in a rat race.

The starting signal would go off the moment my sneakers hit the pavement and suddenly I would become a focused warrior where my only objective was to get home as fast as possible. The route was complex: I would race down the street where I wait for the bus, then I’d jump off the bus and run down the stairs hoping to catch the red line to Braintree, then I would sprint out of the train and power walk the mile home.

By the time I got home I would be exhausted, depleted and ready for bed, but rather than putting my feet up there was dinner to cook, laundry to fold and lunches to prepare. Needless to say it was a vicious cycle that constantly left me so drained that by the end of the night I would barely have enough energy to collapse on the couch and watch television.

Then a couple years ago I remember missing the train by mere seconds. I was so frustrated I cursed the train director and the entire MBTA, which I still do sometimes, and went to wait on one of the old wooden benches. Plopping on the bench I let out a sigh and looked around me, taking in the other passengers and slowly making my way up to the sky.

It was at that moment that I took my first deep breath since I left work.

The August night sky was incredible. Puffy white clouds were splashed with vibrant crimson, gold and amber and as I took in all the colors I felt like it had been waiting for me, like it was there just for me.

As I sat on the bench and took in the brilliant colors I felt the corners of my mouth reach up to the sky and I literally laughed out loud. How long had I been so wrapped up in my commute that I had forgotten about the world around me? How could I have been outside for so long and never once looked at the sky? How much more was I missing? It was then that I realized all this time I was cursing the MBTA there was this magnificent sky above me. Just existing and waiting for me to look up.

Within minutes the next train came and you know what? I got home only 7 minutes later than normal. That’s it. Yet if I had made my train there’s a chance I would have missed the gorgeous sunset that gave me reason to pause and reflect.

Ever since that night I don’t hear the signal announcing the beginning of another race home; instead, I step out of the office and gaze up at the sky happy to feel the sun shine upon my face or the stars sparkle in the darkness.

 

Life is an adventure. 

Erin Madore

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